Goodbye Ultimate Warrior

   You may be one of the people who thinks that professional wrestling is ridiculous.  Maybe it is.  I don't care.  I think that the world is ridiculous.  Pro wrestling though has always been able to bring a joy to my heart unlike any other.  Today however, my heart is terribly heavy.  The human race has lost one of its finest specimens and we are left now with only the aching void and the memory of a man that I had always thought to be so much larger than life that he would be larger than death as well.  Instead, reality finally sinks in today.  The Ultimate Warrior; James Brian Hellwig is dead.

   I wish I had something to say to my readers today but the words do not even exist to describe the importance of the Warrior to the world of wrestling or the level of heroism that he represented in the hearts and minds of so many people.  On this day I can do little more than let the Ultimate Warrior speak for himself...

  On Monday the Ultimate Warrior addressed a raucous New Orleans crowd with these poignant and prophetic words;

   "Every man's heart one day beats its final beat.  His lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others and makes them believe deeper in something larger than life, then his essence, his spirit will be immortalized by storytellers...by the loyalty, by the memory of those who honor him, and make the running the man did live forever."

 "I am the Ultimate Warrior"  He reminded us one last time, "you are the Ultimate Warrior fans and the spirit of the Ultimate Warrior will run forever."

  And so today we shall honor the life of the Ultimate Warrior and know that his memory will live on in our hearts forever as he makes one last run into the great unknown from whence he came...


 

The Day After Wrestlemania 30

   Today, I still find myself suffering the shock of watching the Undertaker’s streak finally come to an end during last night’s Wrestlemania.  I’m not sure if it’s even really sunken in yet.  I don’t even want to think about the ramifications of it.  Tonight, I think that I will simply let Raw do the thinking for me on that front and for the time being I’ll just try not to think about that look on the face of the Undertaker last night when we had to sit at the edge of our seats and watch him realize that it was all finally over.

   The rest of Wrestlemania XXX was as sports entertaining as it could be (even if it was a Wrestlemania strangely devoid of celebrity appearances or performances).  The pageantry was stellar, the setting was perfect and Hulk Hogan for a while had no idea where the hell he was.  Even some of the first moments of Wrestlemania; when the Rock made as charismatic a speech as ever, the manliest of tears were already beginning to well up in the collective, astonished eyes of the WWE Universe.  Last night, I smelled it….I truly smelled what the Rock was cooking.

   When Triple H made his grand entrance last night; one of the most badass entrances I’ve ever seen, I was no longer sure who I wanted to see win.  There was such a large, dark part of my heart that wanted to see The Game absolutely lay down the law on Daniel Bryan and show us all why he’s in charge.  And for a while when Daniel Bryan was being used to mop up the ring and was very nearly cerebrally assassinated, there was part of me that felt that maybe he didn’t deserve to be champion after all.  When Daniel Bryan came back though and won, only to be brutally assaulted by Triple H, I wanted the straps to be Bryan’s more than ever.

  

   Though I despise the Real Americans and how Ceasaro’s weird legs look all the time, when my original picks in the Battle Royal (Santino, Brodus Clay, Brad Maddux and the guy who’s married to Natalya) were eliminated and only Ceasaro and Big Show remained, I knew instantly who the Andre trophy was going home with.  I did not however expect Ceasaro to pick Big Show up like he was nothing and throw him over the top rope so effortlessly.  I was astonished and I commend Ceasaro’s superhuman strength.  Sorry Jack Swagger but the golden Andre gets to be the little spoon every night for one year now.

  Husky Jesus looked super cool in his new duds last night and had a great, compelling match with John Cena.  The Shield came out positively jacked in their weird, little ninja masks and devastated Kane and the Old Age Outlaws in a nice, quick match.  The Divas’ championship match was especially entertaining and now I’m anxiously awaiting the Divas episode where Cameron chides the wardrobe lady for a malfunction that turned a few lucky boys in the audience into men. Then a suspiciously placed TV nearly killed Randy Orton during the championship, perhaps Spanish announcers’ revenge, but Randall wowed me by fighting through and the main event ended just as it should have. 

  Still, the end of the streak weighs heavily on my heart.  I am not troubled that the streak had to come to its end only by how.  The last few years of watching the Undertaker hobble slowly and painfully through long, grueling matches, suffering devastating maneuvers from his opponents and hardly performing any moves of his own is crushing to me.  The phenom has been my favorite wrestler since I was a boy.  We’ve had to watch him pushed way past his prime, impressing us for the last few years with only his entrance and his ability to withstand long periods of relentless punishment.  The commentary on his Wrestlemania matches for the last few years has been the same with only the name of his nemesis changing.  It’s been clear for some time that the streak had to end so that the Undertaker may himself finally rest in peace…but of all the great wrestlers; all the people to have come and gone from the squared circle…why would it have to be some walking canned ham without an ounce of charisma in his body; a giant, pink turd who just wrestles an occasional scrub between long stretches of hiatus to now stand as the ridiculous name at the end of the great and mighty Undertaker’s streak?  I spit upon his name (and my wife says "don't spit in the house!")  I do what I want!  R.I.P. the streak!

CM Punk on Talking Dead Talking About Wrestling???

   Out here in the WWE Universe we have been nervously awaiting the slightest hint of news to speculate upon. We have been searching desperately for the tiniest clue as to whether or not CM Punk will return to the WWE soon.  His contract with the WWE only remains until July.  

   This year, July is approaching a little too quickly for our tastes and things are starting to become very uncomfortable.  CM Punk hasn't made the slightest public peep as to his intentions and neither has the WWE.  His twitter feed has gone silent yet still ominously remains.  Aside from the first, single statement made to the conveniently and almost suspiciously present TMZ reporter after being screwed at the Royal Rumble, nobody has any real info on Punk and Vince Mcmahon's only public statement about Punk is that he is "on sabbatical".

    When it was announced before last week's Raw that Hulk Hogan would be making a special announcement, we were elated with anticipation that this would surely be the announcement of CM Punk's return.  As cool as the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal is, we were crushed anyways when we found that was all that Hogan had come to proclaim.
    
    We have driven ourselves to the brink of madness attempting to imagine every possible WWE story line that could have Punk returning by Wrestlemania, which is now just weeks away.  Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday however, we find those hopes dashed as the paths to those stories become hopelessly blocked off.  As much as we may be proud participants in this YES movement and devout fans of Daniel Bryan, some hopeful dream was crushed last week when it was revealed that it would be Bryan finally luring Triple H back into the ring at Wrestlemania and that Daniel Bryan would also be the much needed face to step into the bizarre and unthinkable heel vs heel scenario that has become the championship match.  We are left clinging now to only the slimmest thread of hope that by some miracle CM Punk will surprise us all with some kind of appearance at Wrestlemania.  It is out of sheer self-preservation that I do not let my mind linger further over the complex myriad of events that would have to take place for that to happen.

    When CM Punk was spotted sitting next to Dana White at a UFC event, the internet lit up.  Instantly the rumors spread that we’d be seeing CM Punk trying his hand at MMA as a professional and possibly even stepping right into the UFC like some other Paul Heyman guy had done a while back.  Still though, there was no official comment from Punk of the sort, no word from the WWE and not a single word from Dana White about his guest that evening. 

    
    On Sunday night though, CM Punk made his first televised appearance since, at a live taping of Talking Dead; a roundtable discussion show about AMC’s The Walking Dead.  We tuned in, again anxiously anticipating some hint of Punk’s intentions.  Our hopes were high for just the slightest nod to a possible return to the squared circle of the WWE.  It was clear right away however that great care had been taken to keep from revealing anything of Punk’s career, leaving us instead with only a rich and perhaps very layered subtext to decipher.

    He was introduced on Talking Dead as “Phil Brooks a.k.a. CM Punk”.  When the other guest, Yvette Nicole Brown was introduced, she was introduced as being from the television series Community.  Melissa McBride, even on a discussion show about AMC’s The Walking Dead, was even introduced as “Melissa McBride who of course plays Carol (on The Walking Dead).”  I owe it to my wife for pointing out the strangeness that there was no frame of reference provided for watchers unfamiliar with wrestling as to who CM Punk is.  He was not introduced as being a WWE Superstar or former WWE Superstar.  In fact, there was no mention of wrestling at all during the show. 

    We cannot help but allow this to get our hopes up.  If Punk is truly finished with Mcmahon and the WWE for good, wouldn’t the news already be out about the end of their contract?  Is it possible that CM Punk’s presence or lack thereof within the WWE wasn’t mentioned on Talking Dead because there are some negotiations taking place between Punk and the authority or even maybe because the mysteriousness and the worry among the WWE universe has been written into a WWE story line that we have hardly seen the beginning of yet? 

    There were a few times during Talking Dead Sunday night in which it seemed CM Punk’s view toward the state of the zombie apocalypse might just bleed over into his own life a bit.  He was accused by Yvette Brown of “being sweet tonight” and made one bold gesture of saying that he’s a new person, stating almost gleefully a newfound penchant for forgiveness.  Could he have been thinking of the WWE when saying this?  With this being his first real, scheduled television appearance since the Royal Rumble, how could he have not been thinking of the WWE? 

    Our hearts stir with these possibilities; perhaps the last hope that CM Punk will return to the WWE soon.  In wrapping up the show, host Chris Hardwick stated that watchers can follow Phil Brooks on twitter under the handle @CMPunk and the camera panned over to Punk just in time to catch him raising his eyebrows to the audience in a gesture that suggested, “Maybe….but maybe not.”  For the time being, you can still follow him on twitter but CM Punk certainly isn’t saying much.  Our hope wanes ever more as July draws near but hope is just one of those funny things… and maybe, just like CM Punk, it isn’t down and out just yet.

WHO'S THAT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA?

     We are speeding recklessly down the road to Wrestlemania and the twists and turns along this route have always excited me to no end.  We'll be there soon but there is just enough time for some very interesting things to happen along this journey.  I think it's safe to say that whatever happens, there are three men that we all hope to see at Wrestlemania when we get there; Daniel Bryan, Triple H and CM Punk.  There is still much to be fulfilled though if any of these men are to compete on that hallowed night in April and to understand what remains to be done we must look back on what we've already seen.

     First; John Cena has now wandered into a full blown war with the Wyatt family, who basically hates him because of his chipper attitude all of the time.  (If that seems like a dumb thing to become violently mad about, go try to have a ten minute, adult conversation with a Disney Store employee.)   At the same time, the Wyatt’s war with the Shield continues but is losing steam as Roman Reigns becomes more powerful and the rift in the Shield grows. 

     Dean Ambrose is definitely getting under Roman’s skin and has failed to put his belt on the line for quite some time.  There may be a Wrestlemania match there to finally crown Roman Reigns as a new solo powerhouse.  Part of the Shield may stay together just so there’s at least one more duo in matching outfits to challenge the new Tag Team Champions; Jimmy and Jay Uso.  It remains to be seen where the Shields chips may fall but that will all be sorted soon enough. 

     However, Cena was injured in an attack by the Wyatt family, cementing his need for vengeance at Wrestlemania against Bray Wyatt (aka Husky Jesus as he's been dubbed by @WWECreative_ish on Twitter), and preventing him from interfering in the Wyatt’s match with the Shield that might have finally caused the final split on Raw the other night.  This war with the Wyatts is well serving to keep John Cena from being the much needed face in another match that we still have to discuss here.

    Daniel Bryan, at the height of his popularity has issued a challenge to Triple H and has been fighting Kane repeatedly for several matches now as punishment.  Though Triple H says he won’t fight Bryan at Wrestlemania, it’s been rumored for a while that he will indeed be fighting someone at Wrestlemania and recent murmurings about the official poster for Wrestlemania 30 suggest that Triple H is indeed depicted upon it in his wrestling trunks. 

     Thus far, Daniel Bryan has been trying for two weeks to lure the King of Kings into this match with him.  Triple H though is a pinnacle player and he has a good point when he says that it’s not worth even putting the trunks on just to fight a B + wrestler.  So the question remains; can Daniel Bryan get Triple H to fight him?  If Daniel Bryan could go into the ring and absolutely lay waste to both of the men headlining Wrestlemania, then nobody could argue that he too is a pinnacle player and Triple H would have to step up.  

    However, Daniel Bryan has barely squeezed a win out of his matches with Corporate Kane; a guy who doesn’t even try to be a wrestler anymore. So it’s going to be hard for Daniel Bryan to argue his worthiness.  However, he could maybe get under Triple H’s skin enough to make him fight at Wrestlemania.  If you study WWE history enough you will know that brazen attacks on someone’s car or a quick kidnapping or assault of their spouse will usually do the trick to lure them into Pay Per View.  So it is still possible that Daniel Bryan gets his fight but then again he might just fight a very upset Kane in some special match at Wrestlemania and maybe there will be another; some mysterious A + wrestler with a vendetta against the authority who could challenge Triple H; someone who was screwed by the authority out of his chance to headline Wrestlemania who seems to meet all the criteria of a worthy opponent to Triple H.

    Then again, there still remains Wrestlemania’s main event to discuss; Randy Orton vs. the recently returned Dave Batista for the Championship (which still remains strangely signified by two very separate belts).  For months, Randy Orton has been a whiney, ungrateful champion.  He has completely lost favor with the crowds and even seems to have worn out his welcome with the authority.  He’s beat up a few people’s dads along the way and has sold himself as the perfect heel.  But then Batista has done his fair share of insulting the crowds in the last few weeks as well.  He says that he wants to destroy all our heroes on his way to being the champion but then he’s caught in a rivalry (a little more his speed honestly) with Alberto Del Rio.  Whaaaaa?  Can this guy just walk back in and become the new champion?  The crowds are hating him right now. 

     So, we have this weird dilemma…two hated heels fighting to become the face of the WWE at Wrestlemania.  That doesn’t feel right does it?  Wrestlemania has been the bold display of good triumphing over evil in epic battle for thirty years. 

There’s still that guy though, out on the side of the road to Wrestlemania perhaps that we all want to see; the hero; the anti-hero.  The perfect face; an X marked fist raised into the air in defiance of the authority of WWE, a man whose name we heard chanted loudly upon the lips of an entire city last Monday night on Raw for over three hours straight…could he be out there?  Could he be working his way slowly along the side of the road to Wrestlemania with his Cubs hat pulled low over his eyes and an anger burning in his heart?  Could we see a third challenger enter into the main event at Wrestlemania? 

    There is still just enough time for the pieces to fall into place before that big night in April and I have to wonder if the magic of Wrestlemania still hangs in the air before us like it has in the sparkling days of our mystified youth.  In the night my mind reels with these possibilities and I ask myself if Wrestlemania XXX can capture that sacred magic once more, defy all odds and logic and make champions out of my heroes and vindicate the mistreated of our world. 

     Then the night around me is quiet and cold and a strange shiver creeps up my spine… and from some place far away I can hear the answer uttered as if from the lips of some old ghost clutching some strange, brassy urn out in the ether somewhere...the bizarre, high pitched voice that answers, “Oooooooooooohhhh Yeeeeeeeeesssss!” and I know it to be true.  (His boy is back and you know he’s watching)   Wrestlemania 30 ladies and gentleman….Westlemania effing 30.

The Post Rumble Rumors About CM Punk

The internet exploded yesterday after a TMZ “reporter” got a statement from CM Punk, suggesting that after finding himself dissatisfied with the shenanigans at the Royal Rumble on Sunday, he is suddenly leaving the WWE.  Yes... a man who wrestled in legion halls and high school gyms for $20 a show out of his sheer love of wrestling is now thought to be suddenly turn his backing on history's largest and most iconic wrestling franchise.  Reports claim that after the Rumble, CM Punk told Vince McMahon that he was going home to Chicago and apparently he doesn’t plan on performing any live events in the upcoming weeks.  His contract though, has him bound to the WWE until July.

I'm not one to argue with TMZ as a perfectly credible “news” source but I feel that maybe if you ask a professional wrestler about the outcome of a predetermined event and their prospects towards future predetermined events, then they may just answer in character to uphold the story line that paints CM Punk as the frustrated and oppressed rogue who's caught endlessly squirming beneath the heel of The Authority.  Or maybe he is just that pissed off that on short notice Batista was suddenly written in to win the Royal Rumble and headline WrestleMania.  He has every right to be pissed off.  Yet the way in which Punk was eliminated from the Rumble still hangs strangely overhead and has yet to be addressed. 

Cm punk has been relegated to somewhere near the middle of the card while the WWE pumps some of their other superstars into the limelight.  However, during his time where he isn't in competition for any major title, WWE's writers have him struggling against a corrupt and vengeful authority, overcoming staggering odds and constantly proving that he can defeat two or three other wrestlers at the same time.  Maybe, just maybe, the WWE and it's writers have that special kind of creative foresight to have all this happening to Punk so that he can remain a fan favorite and a tested and proven warrior without distracting from their other superstars' title runs.  Maybe this is why the WWE has events such as the Elimination Chamber Pay Per-View for just such an instance where someone who hasn't had any clear shot at the title, yet has proven perfectly capable of making a run at it, can finally get just such a chance.  Will Kane, Stephanie or Triple H step out Monday and finally address the debacle that cost CM Punk the win at the Royal Rumble which if not rectified will set a precedent for all future Royal Rumbles that a wrestler once eliminated may still interfere freely with the outcome?

 The rumors already abound that Triple H may be dusting off the old tights for a fight with Punk at WrestleMania and Triple H has had a penchant for making men wrestle for their jobs lately.  However, I've also found it odd that since uniting the belts they are still making poor Randy Orton lug two straps around.  If the championships are truly combined, why is this not signified by a single belt?  Could it be because they may end up separated again soon, perhaps with one going to a little, bearded man that we all know deserves one and the other going to some frustrated fringe dweller that defied all the odds to suddenly surprise us all by winning it?

I know that you’re frustrated.  We are all frustrated.  With the launch of the WWE network looming on the horizon, the folks pulling the strings at WWE know that now is the time to make those creative moves that don’t sit quite right with us.  They know what they are doing, and so does CM Punk. When it comes to the rumors of CM Punk's departure from the WWE, I can only assure you of this...  Like most of the world’s greatest people, CM Punk is a Cubs fan and Cubs fans know heartache and frustration and we even know someone occasionally reaching over where they shouldn’t and costing us a championship, but we keep coming back stronger and crazier.  Keep that in mind.  Whatever happens with CM Punk, he’s always going to be the best in the world.

Sister Abigail and the Creators of New Worlds.

      The collective heart of the WWE Universe bleeds this day with frustrated sadness over the outcome of last night’s Royal Rumble Pay Per View but we cannot deny that the wrestling world shakes today with its repercussions.  I woke up to the whisper; a woman’s name floating strangely on the wind and a fire burned in some deep, dark place in my heart.  The name I heard it haunts me in the way that it has haunted the WWE for months but today the sweetness of her name holds in it a new meaning.  You listen close and you’re going to feel it before you hear it; an unsettling little chill in your bones perhaps, but for some of us we’re going to hear it and feel the sweet warmth of the burning fire.  Sister Abigail….Oh how I have waited.

  

   At long last Bray Wyatt has been validated before the wide, frightened eyes of the WWE Universe.  Before they’d come, the Wyatt family taunted the WWE with its haunting, cryptic message.  When finally they appeared, they together brutalized anyone upon whom they set their eyes but in toe to toe battle the patriarch of the Wyatt family proved mostly unimpressive.  No matter how badly we longed to believe; no matter how many lamb’s masks appeared in the crowd night after night, on his own, Bray Wyatt couldn’t seem to win a match.  Even so, we wanted desperately to believe. 

      When Bray Wyatt stood against Kane inside the ring of fire we longed to see Bray Wyatt lay waste to the big, red monster.  One on one though, Kane was undefeatable and Bray relied on the assistance of Luke Harper and Eric Rowan once more.  When they snatched Kane away, we held our breath and waited to see what wicked thing would come of it all and in the end, there was nothing.  Kane returned as if nothing had even happened. 

      Then it took all three members of the Wyatt family just to harass the resilient Daniel Bryan for a few weeks.  They wore him down soon enough and though Bryan claims that his immersion into the family was part of a clever scheme, when we watch the matches and we look into Daniel Bryan’s eyes we can see the defeat.  Daniel Bryan might have found some strange new resolve and turned his back on the family that loved him and he may have surprised Bray Wyatt inside a steel cage.  Last night at the Royal Rumble though, Bray Wyatt cleanly defeated Daniel Bryan; the man who just weeks ago had won the championship.  Harper and Rowan had no need to interfere.  At long last the WWE Universe bore witness to the devastating power of Bray Wyatt and in the end Daniel Bryan succumbed to sweet Sister Abigail.

       During last night’s championship match the Wyatt family appeared once more and made their powerful presence known to two of the toughest competitors currently in the WWE.  John Cena met his devastating loss beneath the menacing gaze of the Wyatts last night and he felt the dual belts slip through his fingers again.  Perhaps the war between John Cena and the Wyatt family or between him and Bray Wyatt is now soon to come. 

      Bray Wyatt has made it clear now that he can stand with any man or beast in the WWE and he knows no fear.  Questions circle the WWE Universe now.  What happens now?  Will John Cena come for vengeance against the Wyatts?  And what is to come of Daniel Bryan?  His run for the title has been played out.  His own war with the Wyatts has been decided…unless of course John Cena and Daniel Bryan wage a new war with the Wyatt family.  A new world is being created before us.  It’s time for RAW.  Follow the buzzards.